So, I remember being forwarded this Aussie Citizenship Test years ago during the debate over the government wanting to test all migrants before entering Australia...which I totally think is fair.
But the spoof test basically is a Bogan-ised version of the Aussie Citizen Test. So I put it out there to all my American friends...if you can pass this test, you are a "True Blue Fair Dinkum Aussie"!!!
Aussie Citizenship Test
1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term 'died in the arse'?
___________________________________
2. What is a "bloody little beauty"?
___________________________________
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
___________________________________
4. Explain the following passage: 'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'
__________________________________
5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
___________________________
6. Complete the following sentences:
a) 'If the van's rockin' don't bother ?
b) You're going home in the back of a ?
c) Fair crack of the ?
_________________________________
7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
__________________________________
8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
__________________________________
9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard 'up on blocks'? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
__________________________________
10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
__________________________________
11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
__________________________________
12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
__________________________________
13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?
__________________________________
14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
__________________________________
15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
__________________________________
16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
__________________________________
17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
__________________________________
18. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'?
__________________________________
19. Who would you like to crack on to?
__________________________________
20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson, John 'True Blue' Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
__________________________________
21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
_________________________________
22. What does "sinkin piss at a mates joint" and "getten para" mean?
___________________________________
2. What is a "bloody little beauty"?
___________________________________
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
___________________________________
4. Explain the following passage: 'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'
__________________________________
5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
___________________________
6. Complete the following sentences:
a) 'If the van's rockin' don't bother ?
b) You're going home in the back of a ?
c) Fair crack of the ?
_________________________________
7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
__________________________________
8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
__________________________________
9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard 'up on blocks'? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
__________________________________
10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
__________________________________
11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
__________________________________
12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
__________________________________
13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?
__________________________________
14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
__________________________________
15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
__________________________________
16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
__________________________________
17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
__________________________________
18. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'?
__________________________________
19. Who would you like to crack on to?
__________________________________
20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson, John 'True Blue' Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
__________________________________
21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
_________________________________
22. What does "sinkin piss at a mates joint" and "getten para" mean?
Aussie Citizenship Test - Answers
Translation:
1. I can't explain the origin however, an example is: Could you give me a ride to work? My car died in the arse and it's at the mechanics. OR,
It had all the markings of a good movie/joke but the ending just died in the arse.
2. A happy statement. ie: Doing something nice for someone and they exclaim, "You bloody little beauty!" It also pertains to our favourite team winning...etc.
3. No, they're not.
A. To chuck a sickie means taking a day off from work/school when you're not sick.
B. Chuck a spaz, is the same as throwing a tantrum.
C. chuck a U-ey means makinga U-turn.
4.In the afternoon last Christmas, the relatives showed up for a B-B-Q, some beverages and a few sausages. After a bit of a Bex (headache powder) and a lie down (nap), we opened the presents and ate all the chocolates, biscuits (cookies) and candy. Then we drank a few beers and Mum got mad after Dad and Steve had an argument and a bit of a fist fight.
1. I can't explain the origin however, an example is: Could you give me a ride to work? My car died in the arse and it's at the mechanics. OR,
It had all the markings of a good movie/joke but the ending just died in the arse.
2. A happy statement. ie: Doing something nice for someone and they exclaim, "You bloody little beauty!" It also pertains to our favourite team winning...etc.
3. No, they're not.
A. To chuck a sickie means taking a day off from work/school when you're not sick.
B. Chuck a spaz, is the same as throwing a tantrum.
C. chuck a U-ey means makinga U-turn.
4.In the afternoon last Christmas, the relatives showed up for a B-B-Q, some beverages and a few sausages. After a bit of a Bex (headache powder) and a lie down (nap), we opened the presents and ate all the chocolates, biscuits (cookies) and candy. Then we drank a few beers and Mum got mad after Dad and Steve had an argument and a bit of a fist fight.
5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger (all mens' nicknames) are driving to Surfers Paradise (a coastal city, in Queensland) in their Torana (make of Aussie car). If they are travelling at 100km/h (60 miles) while listening to Jimmy Barnes, John Farnham and AC/DC, how many boxes (of beer) will each person on average, consume between mooning and peeing?
6. Complete the following sentences:
a) If the van's rockin' don't bother...knockin'.
b) You're going home in the back of a...ute/panel van?
c) Fair crack of the...whip.
7. I've had a gutful, means I've had enough...I can't be fagged, means I just can't be bothered.
8. wedgie. A manoeuvre in which the administrator of the wedgie reaches into the back of the victim's trousers, grabs the victim's underpants, and pulls them up so that they form a wedge dividing the victim's buttocks
6. Complete the following sentences:
a) If the van's rockin' don't bother...knockin'.
b) You're going home in the back of a...ute/panel van?
c) Fair crack of the...whip.
7. I've had a gutful, means I've had enough...I can't be fagged, means I just can't be bothered.
8. wedgie. A manoeuvre in which the administrator of the wedgie reaches into the back of the victim's trousers, grabs the victim's underpants, and pulls them up so that they form a wedge dividing the victim's buttocks
9. A car on blocks should be self explantory...it's up off the ground with no tyres. Names like Bruce and Cheryl are common but "lower" type names.
10. Mince meat is the same as ground beef..This is an Aussie recipe for a Chinese dish.
11. Beef mince
Eggs
Onion (grated)
Bread crumbs or bread soaked in milk
Plain flour
Salt and pepper
12. Must be soaked in a glass of milk...then suck on it like a straw before you commence the nibbling process.
13. A heavy smoker who sounds like a man.
14, In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three bean salad, a chop (lamb or pork) and two serves of pavlova, followed by drinking someone else's beer that was "stolen" from a bath full of ice? Instead of ice boxes (which we call, "eskies") alot of people just fill the tub with ice to keep the drinks cold.
15. The answer is yes...you can eat other peoples' meat...saugages, steaks etc...but ask first!
10. Mince meat is the same as ground beef..This is an Aussie recipe for a Chinese dish.
11. Beef mince
Eggs
Onion (grated)
Bread crumbs or bread soaked in milk
Plain flour
Salt and pepper
12. Must be soaked in a glass of milk...then suck on it like a straw before you commence the nibbling process.
13. A heavy smoker who sounds like a man.
14, In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three bean salad, a chop (lamb or pork) and two serves of pavlova, followed by drinking someone else's beer that was "stolen" from a bath full of ice? Instead of ice boxes (which we call, "eskies") alot of people just fill the tub with ice to keep the drinks cold.
15. The answer is yes...you can eat other peoples' meat...saugages, steaks etc...but ask first!
16. Beetroot (known as "beet"in the States).
17. Pair of thongs are flip-flops, an esky is an icebox and ugg boots are akin to what the Inuits wear.
18. I'll have to say yes, it's possible. Prang means to crash and circle work, is going 'round and 'round in circles at top speeds.
19. "Crack on to" means to come on to someone.
20. Names of famous Aussie...could be any of them, except for Kylie Minogue (in my opinion ha!)
21. A mate is a buddy and a trailer is a little thing you tow behind your car...usually full of sand, tools or for taking rubbish to the tip.
22. "Sinkin' piss at a mates joint" means, drinking beer at your friends place and "gettin' para" means getting really fucken drunk
17. Pair of thongs are flip-flops, an esky is an icebox and ugg boots are akin to what the Inuits wear.
18. I'll have to say yes, it's possible. Prang means to crash and circle work, is going 'round and 'round in circles at top speeds.
19. "Crack on to" means to come on to someone.
20. Names of famous Aussie...could be any of them, except for Kylie Minogue (in my opinion ha!)
21. A mate is a buddy and a trailer is a little thing you tow behind your car...usually full of sand, tools or for taking rubbish to the tip.
22. "Sinkin' piss at a mates joint" means, drinking beer at your friends place and "gettin' para" means getting really fucken drunk
DID YA'LL PASS???
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