The Low Down on Understanding Aussies...

The Australian way-of-life, sense of humour, perspective & lingo is often a complete mystery to those visiting our sunburnt shores. We are best described as chillaxed and mega laid-back or casual.

Much of what makes the 'Aussie-a-saurus-rex' species unique is its evolution from a society based on 'mateship'. The 'new' country was more new than anyone could ever have imagined! Animals that hopped, furry animals with duck-bills, big-birds that didn’t fly, spiders, crocs and snakes…not to mention natives throwing sticks that return to sender…WTF! This land was one hell of a culture shock to the European visitors!!!

Indigenous Aboriginal and his Boomerang 

The use of the word mate was widespread by the 1890s, and is often linked with the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier and colourful goldfield towns. It is to reaffirm our egalitarian backgrounds that Aussies greet everyone they meet with "G'day mate, ow-yer-goin'?” Translation: Good Morning Sir. How are you today?

The other explanation for why we call everyone mate is that we are a nation of lazy bastards, all just really hopeless with names!

The idea of group solidarity and mateship is a recurring theme in Aussie relationships. It helps:

• Maintain group coherence by respecting each other’s ability, not their 'position'
• Promotes democratic processes by reminding all that no one is better than the other or more valued than the group
• Confirming the individuals acceptance into the 'mates circle.'

The ultimate accolade or mark of acceptance from an Aussie is …"yeah, he's not a bad bloke", rising to …”he's 'a good/top bloke' or she's a 'top bird.”

It is also often proper to refer to your best friend as "a total or stupid bastard"…often said loudly with raucous affection. By contrast, an enemy is "a bit of a bastard" and your worst enemy is just plain…"a bastard," said quietly yet firmly through clenched teeth!

Here's some more insider hints about us mob:

•    The shorter the nickname, the more we like you. 
(If any word can be shortened, it will…preferably ending in a vowel) Eg, Steven = Stevo

•   It's considered far better to be "down on your luck" than "up yourself."

•    Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the milk crate. And, if it can't be fixed with pantyhose and '8-guage fencing wire', it's not worth fixing. (Yeah…& Gaffa tape!!!)

•    The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags. (Sausages.)

Typical Aussie bogans mates having a BBQ

•    The bigger the hat, the smaller the station / farm. (Never, ever a 'ranch!')

•    The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. Or at least not acted upon. You should take everything. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car, you are not trying.

•    On picnics, the Esky (ice-box/cold storage container) is always too small, creating a food versus grog (alcohol) battle that can only ever be resolved by leaving the salad at home.

•    The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle,” means everyone in the family loves a drink.

•    A flash sports car driven by a middle-aged man does not incite envy - as in America - but hilarity.

•    If there were any sort of free event or party within a hundred and fifty kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go. Got to conquer the tyranny of distance!

•    Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage-sizzle and onion rings.

•    There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce. (Aka. 'dead horse' in rhyming slang.) It's never, ever called 'ketsup' despite the extensive marketing campaigns and the relentless onslaught of globalisation.

•    A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in the 'good ole US of A, but a fine example of footwear. A group of good-lookin' Aussie sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped!!

•    'Rooting' for a team is not what you think!! The only people Aussies 'root' for is their husbands/wives/girlfriends/very good friends etc. We 'barrack' for our teams!

And finally, don't let the tourist books fool you. No one says "cobber," and no Aussie would ever 'throw another shrimp on the barbie'…

FYI - We only eat prawns.

Put another shrimp prawn on the barbie!!

The Land Down Under through the eyes of a Yank

Living in NYC has been an interesting experience for someone who was born and raised in Australia. Quite often, I get asked a lot of questions about what it is like back home. Sometimes I even get questions such as, “Do you know Crocodile Dundee?” – To which I reply a line made famous by Kevin Bloody Wilson: “Know him? Mate, he’s my brother!”

The longer I live here in NYC, the more it becomes clear that a lot of Americans have some really interesting concepts and visualizations about what the land down under must be like. For example, I get the impression, quite often, that many of my American friends see Australia like these images:

Some stereotypes do exist. For instance, in Australia, most of us are platonic ‘mates’ to each other. The men here are definitely tall, beefy and brawny, thanks to their love for footy and AFL. Melbourne does have unpredictable weather, just as it has the best coffee.

In spite of that, there are some age-old perceptions that pop culture convinces people to believe about Aussies and their land. Here’s a list of myths that have been exaggerated and blown largely out of proportion.

1) Kangaroos: Nobody rides to school on a Kangaroo. The kids don’t wait at the Kangaroo stop and people do not struggle to find a good spot to park their Kangaroos. Australians, walk (not hop) – they hop on to trams though, and they use trains and taxis as well. Some Aussies own a Swift or a Honda and some of them have Audis and Ferraris. However, nobody has a Kangaroo, in fact we never even get to see one in the city.

Kangaroo

2) Barbecue: There is no denying the fact that Aussies relish a good BBQ. It’s a feature on housewarmings, birthdays, or sometimes just on a Sunday. However, no matter what Paul Hogan said in the 1980s, ‘shrimp is not the only thing that is put on the Barbie’. Sausages, steaks, fillets, burgers, you name it and I can assure you that it has been barbecued somewhere in Australia. But there is no particular fascination for shrimp or prawn above the others.

Paul Hogan cooking up a feast

3) Fosters Beer: It is one of the least popular beers in Australia and god knows Aussies love their beer. Fosters has gained popularity largely through exports thus leading to the false notion that Australians survive on Fosters.

4) Crocodile Wrestling: Steve Irwin was really brave to do it, Paul Hogan was really talented to show it, but most Australians don’t know squat about it. Yes, there have been some significant crocodile and alligator references to Australia on an international level, but this is not a sport kids learn at age 4 or at any age as a matter of fact.

5) Fashion: People do not wear singlets, thongs, bikinis and hats with corks dangling from it. They might wear it to the beach, but no one wears it to work, parties or the mall…um I mean shopping center. Melbourne and Sydney have established themselves as fashion and shopping hotspots with various brands of clothes, handbags and shoes that are not just Quicksilver, Billabong or Rip Curl. The fashion standard is easily comparable to New York and London.

6) Desert: Yes, a large portion of the Australian land is a desert, however, those are not places where Aussies live or most travellers would visit. Australian cities and beaches are developed enough to be a highlight of the country besides the dry barren land.

7) Sparsely populated: Australia undoubtedly has a low population and yes the outback and suburban areas might be scanty. However, the developed cities and tourist spots are far from it. Try going to the Opera House on New Year’s Eve and you will know what I am talking about.

8. Vegemite: It is not the staple diet after barbecue. Vegemite is available everywhere and is probably in the pantry of every household, however, it is by far not the most popular spread. Jams, butter, cheese, dips are more commonly consumed by kids and adults.

9) Life by the beach: All Australians don’t live by the beach and go surfing at 11 AM on a Monday morning. Going to the beach is indeed a luxury and an activity to be done on a holiday or a free weekend that people find difficult to arrange because of demanding work schedules.

Me & my board 

Channeling some Aussie Tucker?

If you are Australian (pure bread or at heart) and homesick, well I have some good news for you as the comfort foods that saw us through our younger years are available here in New York. 

After being in Manhattan for over 6 months now and semi retired, I made it my mission to find all the cool little places that the city has to offer...even if it is off the beat path...thats just how Sheila's like to do it. 

When you begin dreaming of Tim Tams, Teddy Bear bicci's or Lamingtons, an Aussie Meat Pie or Vegemite or even a Sunny Boy as I did this summer, you know you are in desperate need of a home fix or simply just a beer with Duncan. 

If you cannot recognise the signs, inform your mates and work mates of the symptoms of Aussie homesickness and ask them to follow these directions. If heard singing "I'm a happy little Vegemite' or seen watching an episode of Home & Away you may interpret this as homesickness and immediately obtain a jar of Vegemite, some Salada or SAO biscuits or white toast and butter, open the jar under the Aussie's nose and lead them to the kitchen. If you have Lipton Teabags, even better. If its past 5pm, a Fosters Lager, VB or Coopers might be needed. If none of these work, just wall out "Warnie" and see if you get any colour in their cheeks, if this doesn't work ask if Michael Clarke is the Prime Minister and see if you get a glimmer of  a smile.  

Michael Clarke for PM 

My first discovery was none other than the The Australian at 20 West 38th Street. If you are looking for some serious Aussie tucker...then Bob's your uncle, this place is a must! The Australian has a very chillaxed atmosphere and whether you need to throw back a coldie (Fosters) or hungry for traditional meat pies, sausage rolls, chicken parma or even pavlova for that sweet tooth...this place is a definite so go say g'day. And for any extreme sport withdrawal afflictions, most Aussie sport events can be watched from here including cricket and Aussie Rules Footy. But being an Aussie Sheila, we try not to tell Aussie male subspecies (especially the bogans) that this may be on, or you may lose them for life.

A-Chan & I with our American plus sized tinny of Fosters

I recently stumbled across this clip on Fosters and the Big Apple...très funny.

Myers in Australia is a department store. Myers of Keswick in New York is a traditional British gourmet deli that is said to stock everything English and some Australian fare too. When I recently visited the store in West Village...I seriously jà died and went to cornish pasty and scone heaven!!! This shop sells homemade gourmet pies and pasties and their  english tea cakes and scones are to die for. They also sell other Aussie grocery items that you could be missing from home...i have made a list below of the standouts for me:

• John West Tuna (what is this Bumble Bee rubbish?)
• Heinz Baked Beans
• Vegemite
• HP Sauce
• Ribena
• Lucozade
• Tim Tams
• Scotch Finger 
• and much much more!!!

The front of Myers of Keswick

Pie Heaven

Tuck Shop is another little gem in the city. It's hidden away in the Chelsea Market if you are not looking for it you will not find it! I ran a little experiment and asked some Yankee Doodle friends "what is a tuck shop?"...with no surprise, no one knew. A tuck shop is an Australian school canteen and to an Aussie kids this means a lunch consisting of vegemite sandwiches and samboy chips. 

If Tim Tams or Violet Crumble, vanilla slice or lamingtons are required, the Tuck Shop  has them. They also stock fantastic Australian pies and all other foods Australian including the quintessential Vegemite. They even have BBQ Shapes. The Tuckshop will deliver, so in a homesickness emergency they may be your first port of call until you can find an Australian bar or eatery.

The très additive BBQ Shapes

Finally, get ready to laugh fellow Aussies, but if you didn't already know Pie Face has made it all the way from Bondi Beach back home to Broadway here in the Big Apple. I must admit I have never been a huge fan of Pie Face and I personally believe there are better places for pies in the city. But for pie virgins as most Americans are this place is a great starting point.  

You guessed it...a pie from Pie Face!!

So I hope I haven't made y'all too hungry now!!!